


Human Fountain

by usernameExample



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Blood Drinking, Dom/sub, Earth C, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Pancakes, Sex Toys, Slice of Life, Squirting, Tentabulges, Vaginal Sex, Watersports, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 05:43:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18910729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usernameExample/pseuds/usernameExample
Summary: Two espoused aliens deal with their fetishes in a typical way.





	Human Fountain

It's a ridiculous dream, of course. But you are glad to have it. Three years ago, when you were still on the meteor, you would pay anything in the world to have a simple illusion occurring solely in your head. You were so fed up with awakening in a random dreambubble and having to accompany doomed sweaty creeps or stuttering enemies of a concept of self-confidence itself. You wanted to just close your eyes one day and see waterfalls of burning stumps in the land full of quadrupedal strangers that booed every time you've picked up a quarter. Like now, for example.

When you are a married adult woman, living a nice quiet life with no troubles whatsoever. It's so easy to get lost in enervation of an infinite bliss. You flow in it, never drowning but never rising your head above the slippery liquids. It's a heaven for you. You feel your skin surrounded with warmth and care you've never realized how hungry you were for. A gentle massage of your bare body makes every trouble a forgettable nonsense. There is only you, the Rose Lalonde you certainly would be envious of in your earlier years. Waves of hot waters splash against you, again and again, until they are too much to keep you relaxed.

So you open your eyes. It's a nice morning of a late spring. Birds are singing, trees are wavering. Lazy breeze welcomes your awakening through a window, as well as something below your abdomen. You lift your head a little and remove the blanket to look at what's happening below it. With your consciousness coming back to reality with rapidly accelerating zeal, you realize where that warmth from your dreams was coming from. Of course, it's your little alien troublemaker, looking back with surprised eyes and mussed hair. Your wife looks so lovely down there, with her head in between your legs and upper lip barely visible behind your pubis. You see the muscles of her face trying to form a smile, even with a lower part of her face being out of your sight and her tongue buried so deeply inside that tip nearly touches your G-spot. You give her a sleepy warm smile in return. It's your saying of _Good morning, babe._ for today.

You reach out with a hand and carefully yet firmly grab her left horn and press her against your vagina, encouraging to continue. She was so hard-working at making you this warm and wet; no need to pause her ritual of showing affection. You place your head comfortably on the pillow and devote yourself into expert touches at your most delicate parts by both fingers and a tongue, right until you open your mouth, howling from pleasure. What a gorgeous way of starting a day.

  


* * *

  


After exhausting eleven hours of arsing around, you are taking a shower. You prefer the water to run hot and smoothly, with just enough pressure to wash off soap effectively but being mostly unnoticeable for your skin. You breathe in surrounding steam as you reach for a bottle with hair shampoo when you hear a door opening.

"Occupied!", you say with slightly louder voice than usual. You know that won't stop her if she wants to join, but if she's there to simply brush her teeth, then you are going to use every opportunity to remind her that this is currently _your_ territory. To establish dominance, see. Otherwise you know it won't take long until she starts using your favorite mug to drink her tea like it's no big deal. You are wrong, Maryam. This IS a big deal. You will be forcibly rehabilitated during this whole summer until you learn your lesson. Marriage is marriage, but some lines shouldn't be crossed under any circumstances.

She moves a curtain away and steps into the bathtub. Her body is completely exposed for you, this tall and slim figure that still manages to be kitted with noticeable arm muscles and nice bottom curves, creating a strong yet so womanlike cocktail you pray you'll be drinking for the rest of your countless days. "I Hope You Dont Mind Me", she says, so sweetly, so innocently that you are ready to swoon. You wouldn't do that literally, of course no, that would be ridiculous. Your voice is more of a murmur as you glare into her green eyes, "How dare are you intruding this sacred place.". This color suits her so much better than that grey teenage emptiness. You think you are the only being in the universe who's able to notice the divinity of her looks. You don't let her answer, interlocking your lips with hers in a passionate kiss the very moment she opens her mouth to talk. She kisses you back with her hands on your waist as opposed to yours, groping her butt and squeezing it every time she scrapes your mouth with sharp fangs. It's a nice fun game you two developed over the years, always leading to a long and aggressive tongue play.

You can smell her arousal already. Is your spouse in heat? You surely hope so, her cycles are never failing to turn your weeks into lustful marathons of lesbian love. When she grabs your breast, you already imagine being covered in her cum, never going to bed without an orgasm or two. It appears in your mind in flashes, all the new poses you always wanted to try, all the places where she would suddenly decide to take you, the pictures make your body as eager as hers. You skip foreplay for her and slip your hand directly under her nook. Troll pussies are naturally dry, since all of the lubrication is provided by the bulge, but you easily overcome this miserable obstacle by using a little more soapy water to glide two of your fingers inside. She breaks your kiss to throw her head back and sharply inhale some wet air, in nearly complete silence. You use this opportunity to lick her neck, lips greedily smearing your saliva all over her sensitive area when you hear her breathy voice finally groaning. One point for Lalonde.

You feel her bulge unsheathing and marking both your and Kanaya's abdomens with green precum. There will never be a day when you stop loving that unusual texture of her tentacle. You are hyperaware of it's presence, how it quivers from left to right in search of your tightness. But it's not fully out yet. You add a third finger to her nook and she smiles from pure happiness. You feel her opening getting more relaxed from your bulge-like squirms and you feel a thin liquid pouring from her. Wait, what.

"What are you–"? You look down at your occupied hand and see a semitransparent emerald something forming a stream from between her legs and falling on your thighs. You look back at her face. She's smirking at you, as if everything is going according to her plan.

"Oh my god, Kan! Are you _peeing_?"

Her smile suddenly disappears. She looks confused. "I Thought You Would Appreciate This", she carefully says, as if she's only now becoming aware of this situation.

You push her away from you. You aren't gentle, but you don't apply so much force that she would fall over. You just want her to give you some personal space. "Oh that's super. My wife is a filthy pervert. I feel like I should get some divorce papers, perharps?"

"Dont Be A Hypocrite". If she wants to defend herself, fine. But using fighting words?

"Excuse me?"

She opens a mouth to say something, but closes it back without any words escaping it. She now looks like she realized her mistakes. Her face is deeply green from blush and she breaks eye contact to stare down instead. "Um. I... Uh. Thought You Were Into Urinating Onto Each Other After... You Know. Um". You are losing your patience. What the hell is going on in her head and why she is so resistant in telling you?

"After _what_.", your voice is stern, demanding. Jegus Christ, this looks like a scene when teacher tries to find out why their pupil didn't do a homework. Only she's eighteen years old!

She bursts out under your pressure, "After You Peed Into My Mouth This Morning!!!" Your eyes are wide from shock.

What the actual fuck. And you thought this couldn't get any more embarrassing.

You close the taps and rush out of the bathroom, grabbing a towel on your way. "I need to be left alone.", you mumble before slamming the door behind.

Fucking hell. Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck, it's all your thoughts at this moment! Did you really just piss yourself while waking up? That's why you felt yourself so warm in bed. How didn't you notice it? And what's worse, she drank it all and now thinks that you have the weirdest kinks! What next, farting fetishes? Diapers? Scat? You are disgusted from all this, but mostly, you are disgusted from yourself. You sit down on the sofa to process what just happened.

So... Your moments of shame aside, Kanaya has a watersports passion. How long has she been keeping this mystery? Three years? Why didn't she tell you earlier? You thought you knew her every dirty secret. Yes, she can be an unexpectedly wild girl in bed, not knowing how to balance between black and red during sex and turning it into the most humane thing possible. She likes to penetrate and be penetrated at the same time. She even –oh golly!– likes oral sex. It's considered a wild kink amongst her sharp-toothed kind, but wasn't a shocking revelation for you, Human the Dull Incisors. And you thought that was it. That they were all of her fetishes. What were you doing wrong? Why didn't she open up about this before you gave her (false) sign?

You are sad. Sort of. But mostly disappointed. You join her in bed a couple of hours later. Nobody says a word to each other before falling asleep. Ugh. Your relationships are so full of bullshit.

  


* * *

  


The next morning you wake up alone, and the first thing you do is check if your bedsheets are dry. Yes, they are. Come on, get yourself back together, Lalonde! You are not that old to worry about incontinence. Kanaya is nowhere around, and you are not surprised; she was always an early bird. And judging by the smell, she is currently at the kitchen making pancakes for the breakfast. You feel sympathy for John's hatred towards cakes now. Pancakes. Every second morning. Not like she doesn't cook them to taste delicious, but damn it, wife. Have some variety.

You get up from the bed and grab your headband from the nightstand. Nobody except Kanaya have rights to see you without it, and you don't want to have any risks by suddenly meeting a council of lawyers that she might've invited to defend her wedlock bareheaded.

You are quite hungry from all the recent stress, so you prefer to head towards dining table instead of a bathroom first. Kanaya looks carefree today, humming her favorite song as she flips your meal on the pan. You sincerely appreciate that she always takes your bickering at ease. How would one handle the sight of a sad Kanaya? Definitely not a person with a soul. You sit down at the table and immediately receive a plate full of hot pancakes. She doesn't offer you any jam or syrup, though. Okay, maybe she's actually mad at you. But fine, if she needs to test your poise before you both start apologizing to such extent that it turns into a fight, then you will play along. You don't mind pancakes with nothing, sure! Do your worst, troll beloved, you will handle every gram of your nonsense! Oh, wait. They were with a filling! That must be one of the advertised Crockercorp food additives you've heard about. Turning any liquid into a dough and then liquefying back after applying heat, taking just long enough to make a flapjack with a thin layer of sweet condensed milk inside. You found out about the filling not by a taste, of course. Your nightgown had to sacrifice itself by absorbing all the devastating damage of a pancake that fell apart off the fork before reaching your mouth. Your service will never be forgotten, Beldaran.

Kanaya finishes cooking and removes her apron to sit at the opposite side of you, setting her own plate on table but not eating. You stop, too, and hold your breath for a moment. You both were guilty of what happened yesterday. You were too rough when refusing her, and also tremendously mannerless when using her mouth as a toilet. She was too reticent about her fantasies and too abrupt with introducing them to you. But you still feel like it's your fault entirely. You won't allow yourself to make her feel bad for that, or anything that revolves around such sensitive topics to her. So you place your hand at the table right in the middle between you two, offering a truce. She looks at your hand, then into your hopeful eyes, and smiles. It's wide and relaxing, and you feel the whole world returning the colors their previous saturation level. She reaches to your hand with hers and gently wraps around. "Apologies Accepted", she quietly tells you.

She now starts eating and you are so grateful to have her. She blows at her pancake, puts it in her mouth and exactly two seconds later starts puffing and blowing because, of course, the filling was still too hot. She's adorable. This must be that domestic bliss you've heard about – watching your matesprit helplessly fidgeting on chair back and forth in search of glass of cold water which she made sure to not put beside.

When she finally swallows her cookery, she asks which tea would you prefer. "I'll go with the mint.", you answer after a bit of consideration. The scent draws attention of your housecat, and he's looking at Kanaya from below with a typical feline curiosity. Kanaya puts your cup back on the kitchen counter, pets him behind the ear, and only then returns with both yours and hers drinks. She'll always deny it, but you know that she enjoys having a pet even more than you do.

"So...", you begin, while poking around one of the flapjacks, turning the contents of your plate into a complete mess, "Will we talk about yesterday showering session?"

"I Dont See Why Not", she looks at you. There are no topics too difficult to talk about with the owner of such a cute benevolent face.

You keep your head down while pricking still whole pancakes. "I didn't urinate on my own will that morning. Nor does peeing turn me on."

"Oh. Okay", she comments with a slightly worried voice.

"But that doesn't mean I want to give up on your wet dreams, pardon the pun. Maybe you should warn me next time before we engage in such activities again. I promise to not freak out."

"Uh. Heh", she drops her fork from nervousness and picks it up to go wash at the sink. She continues to elaborate her thought only when returning to the table, trying her best with choosing the words, "I Am Not Into Micturition Like You Think. But That Does Not Mean That Idea Of Human Females Ejaculating Liquids From Their Nook Is Uh. Something I Dont Enjoy". Her cheeks are so green when saying it that you think all of her blood must be accumulated here.

"It makes things better, I think." You knew this topic will once come up. "But not by a large margin. I'm not a squirter like you always wanted."

Kanaya nearly chokes. "How Did You Find Out About That?"

"It just so happens that I have unlimited access to my own body. I know, this fact must be hard to swallow. But I'll always have faith in you."

"No I Mean Its... How Did You Discover That I _Needed_ That From You?"

You quirk an eyebrow. "Because that's what you just described to me? And also based on your porn preferences."

"Thats Not Very Polite Of You Rose. Its My Browsing History Not Yours"

"Kan, please. I didn't spy on you in my evil attempts to fish out your private info. Remember when you tried to find a cooking recipe that I would manage to follow without ruining the dish?"

"Yes?", but judging from her tone it's more of a _No?_. You don't blame her, it was nearly year and a half ago.

"It was some salad the name of which slipped my mind. You had to check on one of the caverns that were told to be perfectly suitable for a future Mother Grub, so you left me your phone with instructions bookmarked. And _maybe_ I was a little intrigued by the link above it, leading to a site with "Human Lesbian Squirt Porn" already entered in the search bar."

She slowly slides down in her chair out of the embarrassment. Really, Kanaya? You have dated, kissed, seen nude, deflowered, married your darling and still feel guilty when she finds out that you masturbate at stranger aunties from videos? It's ridiculous. Charming in it's own way, but also ridiculous.

"And, well, the salad would turn out great if I didn't get carried away by your liked clips. What can I say, you have a good taste.", you wiggle your eyebrows at her. She notices this and giggles, feeling herself a bit more relaxed now.

"I Suppose I Just Instinctively Miss The Sensation Of A Genetic Material Pouring From My Partner Together With Mine", she says dreamingly, with her elbows on the table to support the hand she rests her head upon. "Maybe Peeing Got Me So Excited As The Second Closest Thing We Could Perform"

You smile at her thoughts and finish your breakfast. "I would mark this moment as a beginning of our experiments to turn me into your personal fountain. Maybe there's some way to make our nights even messier." You get up as you say it, going around to plant a kiss on her forehead. Then, you lean to her pointed ear so close that your lips nearly touch it and whisper, "If I find that you keep photos of one of those porn actresses, I'll fucking kill them", followed by your smooch slightly below.

You head to wash your plate while Kanaya still sits where she sat, not moving an inch but also unable to stop grinning. Her face only says _Yes!_

  


* * *

  


This week is your turn to do groceries. You arrive after a brief walk, greeted only by your cat. Kanaya is nowhere to be seen.

"I'm home!"

"I Would Also Like To Report About Myself Being Present At This Apartment!", you hear from the room at your left.

Can somebody remind you why Jake is the most popular entity on Earth C? This girl has so much more potential in being that sort of silly charming celebrity every kingdom adores.

"There is an old human tradition of greeting their tribe member returning from a successful hunt. Would you kindly show some cultural indulgence and join our cat here?"

She comes to you with factitiously annoyed look, "You Irrevocably Ruined My Solitaire Session. Is This Something Important?". You answer by purring with delight as you approach your kitchenette and uncaptchalogue the grocery bag. First, you retrieve eggs. These go to the fridge. You pick three of them into your hands and place them where they should be. Next, you grab another three and proceed to repeat the procedure. Kanaya watches you from afar, leaning against doorframe with her arms crossed. You then pick up the last two eggs. They are in the fridge now, too. No big deal. Then you retrieve some canned peaches. Kanaya always insists that even canned food should be stored in the refrigerator. You toss it in the top left cupboard and close it. Kanaya looks neutral. You decide to spice your show up a little so she wouldn't just turn her back and leave. Because next are cucumbers. You take all three of them and kiss the first one. The second one gets covered in a slightly bigger smear of black lipstick as you lick it from top to the bottom. So unhygienic. The third one receives brief attention from you as you put the tip into your mouth and apply some sucking motion. Garlic. Into the fridge you go.

"You Are Aware That You Can Simply Ask Arent You", she says. You don't listen to that noise. She's a tough public, but you know that she'll never ask for a refund of her ticket. You retrieve a bag of flour. Finely milled soft wheat, unbleached, just like she wrote down on your list. You bend down to put it in the drawer, making sure to shake your ass she probably stares at now. You turn back and see her rolling eyes. Perfection. Cashew nuts, they are going to join peaches. And the last from _her_ list, a single lemon. But this isn't last of your purchases. You grab the final item from the bag and turn around. This presentation is actually very simple. You sit on the kitchen counter and raise your violet skirt, revealing no panties covering your vulva. You spread your legs wider, presenting yourself to her, offering to join and claim you. In your hand, you jiggle your new toy.

It's a green rabbit vibrator from the local sex shop, 5 inches in length and with special branch for additional clitoral stimulation. That little arm really caught your eye: instead of being blunt and simple, it had two tendrils to surround your pleasure button from both left and right sides. The vaginal section is slightly curved and soft to touch, with wavy texture. This thing should be perfect to drive you beyond the edge. You turn it on and set to the lowest setting, barely hearing its buzz. You don't insert it yet, grinding it alongside your labia and closing your eyes for a brief moment from the sensation. It is your first time using a vibrator. Quite a nice experience.

You see Kanaya biting her lower lip at the sight. She has a lovely outfit today – a combo of dark blue leggings and a beige, almost yellowish, tank top. You know she doesn't wear bra with this one, so you give her a sign to free her little beauties for you. She doesn't understand, and you end up just rubbing your own breasts. Fuck, that will do, too. You slip your hand underneath your blouse and play with your left nipple, feeling how it stiffens from your arousal. You awkwardly try to spread your pussy with a single hand in order to insert the toy inside, _no, not yet._ You are still getting into the mood, until your juices start to flow further away from your core, covering your relaxed walls and slowly escaping to the outside, filling the room with your most explicit smell. Which, in turn, attracts a certain representative of Alternia's predominant race.

You open your eyes (how long were you keeping them closed again?) to see her just in front of you, long stripped of her leggings and panties, stroking your leg until you grant her permission to penetrate you with an erect bulge. You feel terrible for telling her about your actual intentions, but it's the whole point. You want to find out if anything is capable of doing things to you that her tentacle was unable to cause. "I'll suck you off after I come.", you tell her while panting.

"Well Okay That Was Uncomfortably Straightforward But I Also Feel Strangely Thrilled To Hear That"

"Fuck I love your insight.", is all you manage to say.

"Am I Reduced To A Spectator For Now Then"

" _Oh_ , you can also shut up and, _mmm_ , lick my nipple."

You don't need to tell her twice. She swiftly gets rid of your wearables, except for your headband and shoes, and gets to work. Oh god it feels amazing now. Her mouth sets onto your free nipple and starts to lick, bite, _suck_ , she's so persistent on sucking, like she expects you to lactate into her mouth, your silly kinky alien. Her hands help you too, spreading your labia just wide enough to wring some bright pleasure out of the motion, mixed with a minor portion of discomfort. Just for you to insert your toy inside the gaping hole, and so you accept her idea and turn vibrator to a higher setting before letting it massage your deep insides.

_Aah_ , why did you have to live for so long without using these sorts of things? It feels like nothing that entered you ever before. Kanaya's bulge is incredible, yes, it trashes so hard and inconstantly during her thrusts that no orgasm is like any other. But _this_ is also sooo good, with it frequent mini-lightnings shooting towards your sensitive spots, and the best thing is that it never stops. You are pooling with lubricant, its amount is now comparable even to your lover's bulge, there's so much of you down there. Kanaya is driven crazy by your feminine aroma, she removes her head from your breasts and gets on her knees in front of your heating opening. She grabs your hand, asking to give her control of your plaything, and you don't care, you agree to everything that she would propose to you, _just please, babe, love, make me come._ You squeeze your breasts with freed hands as Kanaya shoves vibrator in and out with gentle rhythmic motions. _Yes, yes, just like that._ Her other hand is at her alien member, furiously jerking it off until it stops whining and temporarily lets to concentrate on her wife's nook again. She's full of unfeigned curiosity and desire to see you squirting. You are getting closer.

Kanaya stops moving vibrator and lets the tendrils to do some work as well. She quickly understands how it's designed to work and starts _rotating_ it. You fucking scream. This is even better! You moan so loud and desperate like it's your and Kanaya's first time having sex. This thing is impossible, you love it! And you shout it out loud, how much are you turned on, how much you needed this your whole life, how close you are to coming. You don't give a shit how many neighbours are going to hear you, this is too good. Your wife below is glowing, your toes are curling, you are nothing but a horny blushing pile of mess with this toy vibrating inside. Kanaya picks just the right timing to find how to up the intensity and pushes it all the way in. You are done. Your swollen pussy finally clenches around the intruding toy and your vision fogs from a fantastic climax. Waves of shock run through your whole body, making your legs shake and your breath stop for a solid fifteen seconds. You need more.

You grab Kanaya by a hand and force her to keep slowly moving the vibrator, riding out every second of your post-orgasmic paradise. Your close your eyes again to enjoy the last moments with this wild thing within. Eventually the pleasure dies and it's starting to feel uncomfortable inside your numbing vagina, so you and Kanaya both let it go. It slides out of you, falling onto the floor being covered in your excessive luster. Holy shit, what an experience.

You are so relaxed right now. It's funny, actually. You now understand those children fairytales about spirits of woods that are old, wise, yet giving up so easily under the charm of ordinary human things like dolls or sandals. You, Seer of Light, deity of this whole universe, are just as vulnerable to these simple things invented by mortals as gods in medieval stories. Only a vibrator, and look how many emotions and new feelings it brought to you.

Meanwhile, Kanaya licks away all of your wetness she can access, still passionate and aroused, still awaiting for her orgasm to happen. Oh, you almost forgot about it. Eventually the licking stops.

"Do You Remember What You Said About My Bulge After Your First Quote Blow Job Unquote?"

"It's lovely and I enjoy it, Kanaya."

"Yes And You Also Joked About It Having A Mind Of Its Own"

"So?"

"You Were Not That Far From The Truth. She Actually Communed With Me And Told That Shes Upset Now And Also Very Jealous"

"A she? I thought you would think of your bulge as of a boy."

"Why The Hell Would I Do That"

"Good question."

You see her picking up your vibrator from the floor and elegantly dropping it into the trash bin, looking directly into your eyes.

"Kanaya. Why."

"It Failed Its Task You Know"

"Damn it. So no ejaculation?"

"No Ejaculation"

"But still, it cost me 800 boondollars!"

"Said A Billionaire"

"Even so, it was rude."

"Will You Ignore That And Take Me In Your Mouth Anyway?"

"No."

"You Promised"

"You killed my new friend."

"I Know The Magical Word Rose"

"Won't work."

She tilts her head towards you and whispers so quietly that you can barely hear it, observing her lips move in order to get a full understanding of what she's saying, "Ill Order A Pineapple Pizza".

"Fffuck, okay, give me your thing." This girl has no common sense. And it just so happens that this is the only way to tame you! Damned vampiress and her ability to read you like an open book. You'll make sure she doesn't get a single slice.

You swap places, with you now standing on your knees and Kanaya leaning on to a counter. Your life is actually so heteronormative in comparison to human-only lesbians. You ride her, you suck her, you let her lick you. Actually, you don't even remember when was the last time you two tribbed. And it's awesome.

Looking back at yourself, you think you know what was the key moment for you to decide your orientation. You were only nine years old when you found some women forum on November, 2005. Mom's lies about where babies came from were unconvincing already at your young age, so you did research of your own, until you revealed all of the truths you could possibly dig out. Which included complaints about males forgetting to make their partner come, or forcing them to simulate in order to avoid breakups. How bad they were at cunnilingus, and how often they requested blowjobs, only to jizz all over their girlfriend's hair and not even being sorry for it. But what scared you the most, is a really detailed description of semen's taste by one of the local moderators. That was a long post, full of quotes and links to external resources; took your old PC long enough to load completely. That day you decided that you'd rather be forever alone than look for a prince that will use you as a pump for his hairy stinky sausage. Those taste comparisons to the next closest things made you feel sick. What sort of fool would believe that sperm tastes like fruits?

But it's all in the past. Kanaya tastes amazing: a soothing tart combination of sugary and sour for your taste buds, not quite savory enough to spread it onto your sandwich, but a pleasant sensation nonetheless. Her blood caste is the most neutral in flavor compared to other trolls, but she is so distinctive to you. You like to have her in your mouth, gulping her precum and taking her deeply enough that it would cause a vomiting reflex to any other woman. But not to you. You are a mistress of her jade tentacle, you know its every oncoming move as you wrestle it with your tongue, feeling how it presses against the inner side of your cheek. The tip already made its way deeply inside, enjoying hotness of your throat like it enjoys your soft vagina. Kanaya is in euphoria from your efforts, her knees are weak but you support her with your hands. You hold her in place, your precious, exotic lover. Nobody else will ever make you want them as much as you want her. You withdraw from her tentacle to now move your whole head back and forth, fucking her with your mouth instead of just simply deepthroating. 

Her puffs are getting heavier. She's mostly quiet during sex, so you learned at least ten of her breathing patterns to determine how excited she is. A solid 7/10 this time. You are careful to tighten your lips around her bulge without letting teeth scrape her. Tentabulges are so sensitive, always hiding inside the safety of the sheath and emerging to only most careful, knowing touches. You don't just squeeze it like you could do with human dicks, no, you let your soft lips slide along, widening and narrowing them in accordance with how much of Kanaya's tentacle is inside of you. She slides in and out with such an ease, her smooth skin is designed to wriggle into any deeps without painful friction in mere seconds. Greenish lubricant collects around your lips with each movement towards her, dipping on your breasts, then on kitchen counter, on her feet, everywhere as you increase the speed of your motions. Your head feels slightly dizzy from all this, but you want it. You want her so damn much, to have her fill you like a pail, to mark you, to paint your insides, make you hers, hers only, _hers_. Your wife's skin starts to glow with a typical brightness that signals the production of genetic material. Even though you feel yourself prepared, she still pats your head to send a warning. _Yes, sure, I'm ready for your load._

You feel her hands on your shoulder, and so you take all of her in mouth, all the 7 inches of her majestic bulge, bumping your nose into her groin, just so you could feel it entirely. Her alien tentacle expands ever so slightly in your mouth as her dark green cum travels from the base to the tip in order to inject her thick slimy joy. It goes directly into your throat, filling your stomach with such a pleasant nutrient. You don't taste it this time, only feeling with your tongue how it bypasses your mouth in a slow, heavy stream. Trolls come a _lot_ more than humans, plus nine teaspoons or so, and you love this, you love being so full of her, it tickles your every primal instinct. It lasts nearly a minute before her orgasm fades and the last string of her genetic material is gulped down. You move away from her, heavily breathing for some air. Phew.

You rise your head to look at her, satisfied, and she looks back, her mouth still wide open until she snaps back to reality and closes it. The bulge falls out of your mouth back in sheath, leaving some of her green slime on your chin. You fondly smile at her, and receive a gentle petting of your hair in response, _"Thank You"_. You can't describe how much do you hate not being able to kiss her after blowjobs; she doesn't want to taste her own precum on the lips and you try your best to respect that. So instead, you cuddle around her right thigh with your eyes closed. You don't even care that you failed to squirt for her this time. You both are still very happy with each other.

  


* * *

  


You are sitting next to a coffee table, with a laptop plugged to a charger and being placed on your knees. This book was long enough to tire you, but in your current state it's simply frustrating. What else should you add to this chapter? Are all plotholes closed? Wait, did you just fucking misspell that sidekick's name during whole three pages of writing?

Kanaya steps out of her bedroom. She clearly just woke up, yet she looks so collected. What is her secret?

"If You Say That You Were Typing On Your Laptop This Whole Night Instead Of Getting Some Sleep Im Going To Become Very Mad"

"Instead Of Getting Some Sleep, I Was Typing On My Laptop This Whole Night."

"Now After You Parodied My Intonation I Am Legally Allowed To Be Double Mad At You"

"Kanaya, for fuck's sake." You are too tired for this snarkiness competition. You have dark circles under your eyes, your diet tonight consisted of only several cups of coffee, and your fingers are aching from using this poorly designed keyboard. "It has its purpose. I had to do this, okay?"

She sits besides you on the sofa, tilting her head back and looking at the ceiling. "Explain Then Why"

You actually have an answer that will wash her worries away. "I did a brief research on squirting. Some claim that you only need to be fully relaxed during the climax. A theory which was confirmed by many women who first ejaculated during a drunk sex. And humans _do_ tend to relax all their muscles while intoxicated, so–"

"Please Rose I Dont Want You To Start Drinking Again. Its Not Worth It"

"Let me finish my thought first." You hear her mumbling _sorry_ and continue, "I was not planning to drink a bottle full of absinthe to achieve that. There is an alternative to make one's body feel like noodles and their mind like a lump of static, the name of which is a Sleep Deprivation. No narcotics involved."

"A Very Dubious Way Of Relaxation"

"I don't give a damn anymore. Would you have sex with me, please? So I could eventually go get some sleep."

Kanaya sighs. "Rose You Are Such An Odd Woman"

She proceeds to fondle you all the same. First kissing your jawline, then playing with your ample bosom, her fingers doing incredible things as always, tickling your erogenous zones, making you wet with refined motions. When she touches your clit though the fabric of shorts, you close your eyes. God, she knows how to treat a lady.

When you open your eyes, you are already in your mutual bedroom. Your hair is messy, your mouth is drooling, everything feels so sweet around you... Clock displays 3:14 pm. No sexy waifus in your field of view.

You go to the main room and ask her what happened. She answers that you have fallen asleep during foreplay so she has carried you to the bed. You don't hesitate using both of your hands to facepalm at that.

  


* * *

  


You've tried so many things that keeping them all in mind becomes difficult for you. But your name isn't Rose Lalonde until you try absolutely **everything**. Today you are desperate enough to try out a method that's probably 99% fake, but it was in the porn, so why not? Not like it's possible for them to lie on the internet for the sake of subscriptions. Whatever, you won't lose anything if you fail.

You find yourself being sweaty on this summer evening, your body so hot under her touches. While you stand on all fours on your bed, she's talking to you in behind in low voice, telling all these sweet beautiful things until she'll harshly penetrate you, keeping a fast rhythm and making your tongue dangle out of mouth without you even noticing. _Not today, dear._

She's probably positioning herself behind for a better angle right now, when you stretch your hand to cup your pussy, hiding your cleft from her eyes and preventing the entry. You feel her lukewarm fluids leaving marks on your fingers. Your wife whines.

"Rose I Promise To Be A Good Girl This Time"

You would probably give way on any other occasion. Not now, however. "What if it's me who is a bad girl? Look how resistant I am today."

She smirks, even though you can't see it, but you know it, you always know how she feels. And you expect her to try forcibly removing your hand, like she does now, leaving tiny scratches on your hand and thighs with her fingernails. She'll need to clip them soon.

But you don't allow her to get access to your privates. Today she'll have to use the different hole.

"Rosie You Are On Verge Of Stopping Being Naughty And Becoming Obstinate Instead"

"I warned you, sis. Today I am a _bad_ girl. Would you care to improvise?"

"Dear I Just Was In Your Mouth. I Sense How Moist You Are Down There Dont You Want Me To Ravish This Oasis?"

"My pussy's and tongue's services are restricted now, I'm afraid. Speaking further, so are my breasts'."

"Dont Even Tell Me That–"

"Yes."

"No"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Darling, don't panic. I used some help of enema for this."

"Whoever That Enehma Is Im Resistant To Telepathic Manipulations. They Wont Force Me Into Such An Awful Act!"

"Enema is what a special device is called that humans use to make their intestines clean. The more you know."

"No Please Just Let Me Go Into Your Vagina"

"I promise you won't encounter any filth there. Just give it a try. We've never even attempted this, how can you know it's bad?"

"Rose For Gogs Sake Back On Alternia We Even Had Necrophiles That Were Too Icky About Using A Waste Chute As A Nook. What Youre Offering Is Nasty Beyond Limits!"

"I thought you were more open-minded."

"I Have My Limits Of Tolerance. And It Comes From A Person Who Drank A Litre Of Human Urine!"

"Spare me of your hyperbolas, we don't pee that much."

"Well It Felt Like A Litre! And Why Are We Suddenly Talking About Excreta It Ruins The Mood!"

"All right, fiiiine!" You give up and remove your hand.

She fucks you nicely, in a pussy. But you originally expected a lot more from this intercourse. At least now you know that anal sex isn't something Kanaya likes, or would start liking in the following century at least. The more mistakes, the more you learn from them, right?

You come right after her, with no fountains at all. Naturally.

  


* * *

  


You are sitting directly under the air conditioner, because summer during this year just doesn't cease turning Earth C into a ball of molten lava. Kanaya, on the other hand, is happy as ever. You bet these days bring her memories of Alternian desert where she grew up, which must be completely unsurvivable for either humans or majority of trolls. Her kind is an only exception, making you wish you swapped bodies for a week at least. This heat is insufferable.

Currently you are updating the chart you made to keep count of your sexual life. There are three long columns, with fourth being blank and forgotten even by you: 'Tried, didn't work', 'Didn't try', 'Won't try', and 'Tried, worked'. It has been whole two months since you began the experiments.

Kanaya returns from brooding caverns quite early today. There must be nothing special to do while the Mother Grub matures; which gives you two some time for mutual fun, yeah. Plus a predictable ton of disappointment. You swear to god, (any god, just pick it) that if you eventually turn out to be incapable of ejaculation, then you will consider some help from surgery. You _want_ Kanaya to be the happiest troll alive, and nothing will stop you from fulfilling her every dream.

"Oh So Thats Your Opinion On Threesomes", she says next to you. It nearly made you jump, why is she so sneaky?

"Kanaya, seriously. What were you thinking about when proposing this? I don't like the idea of polyamory and you know it."

"What If It Could Still Be The Two Of Us In That Orgy? With Some Usage Of _Borrowed_ Timetables For Example". She bends over to hug you from behind, her head resting on your shoulder as she takes a closer look at your spreadsheet.

"No way. I don't want to accidently create your doomed twin because of time paradox. Imagine having to live in a desolated world as a consequence of some sex shenanigans." You add 'Time travel' below 'Threesome' in the 'Won't try' section.

She doesn't find anything to say to that. As you move entries from one column to another, she finds something else to comment, "Mid Air Sex? I Dont Remember You Discussing It With Me" 

"I'm not able to climax while floating. At least, without falling down like a piece of garbage." You remember trying when you were fourteen. And it looks like nothing changed after all these years, you either have to give up soaring or endlessly rub yourself until getting bored. "Flying requires a bit more concentration that you think, Kanaya. And if I failed to masturbate in such conditions, what are my chances with you, having to support multiple bodies simultaneously?"

"Damn It". You share her disappointment. Every time you seem to be so close to do what you aimed for, an invisible barrier stops you and redirects back to the boring life. Seriously, how long will it take to get some decent experience you strive for? You just need some squirting, is this too much to ask?

She slips her hands under your bra. "Im Getting Sick From All This. Why Are We Still Trying?"

"Because you infected me with your fantasies. I'm not giving up just because my body is being a bitch. We'll make it work." You feel her breath on your neck.

"Are You Sure You Want To Continue All This?" Her tongue comes out to lick your right side, leaving a faint smudge of black lipstick just above your shoulder. It makes you shiver.

"Yes, Kan. I w-won't yield." Her actions pause while she considers something. And then she bites.

It's so sudden, to have her fangs break your skin without any warnings, damaging your carotid artery and letting a steady flow of your blood into her mouth, feeding her with a favorite beverage. Her lips surround the bite mark, not letting a single drop out to possibly ruin your couch. What a neat wife. Your breathing becomes faster as she drinks what your body has to offer to her, audibly gulping each time her mouth is full of your red ichor, until you squeak. She understands what this means (your darling doesn't want you to pass out, not a chance), and covers the place she's bitten with her tongue, letting her rainbow drinker spit to clog two cuts nearly as fast as a bandaid. It's a sloppy alternative, but she knows that you prefer having your small wounds healed this way, by her only.

She's panting when she leaves your neck alone, grinning with some blood still on her lips. "Then You Leave Me No Choice". She throws off your laptop and comes to sit on your lap. Her hands surround your face from both sides, not letting you to turn away, and she glares with her eyes, sclera dimly glowing around her irises. The sun shines through the window just behind her, creating contrast between your room and the grey skin when you stare back at her face. It's so prevailing, full of lust. There is no escape.

She approaches her mouth to yours. When you feel her lips touch, you immediately open up for her. She softly talks into your mouth, and you feel her hot breath with your whole oral cavity, "I Will Simply Fuck You Into She Sofa Until You Either Squirt Or Receive A Just Death"

And then she kisses you, hard and deep, not letting your tongue a chance to fight back and regain control. These moments are so rare, when she's dominating the shit out of you, and you never mind. She's actually very decent at this, your seemingly harmless and innocent cutie. When she's in charge, it's like the whole universe turns upside down, every myth becomes a fact, gentle touches leave bruises and bites are the most caring gestures you ever wanted. You taste your own blood from her mouth, it's weird metallic taste mixing with her and your saliva while you feel her hands in your hair, getting rid of a headband and gripping at the very roots. She's firm when breaking your kiss, not being shy with your golden hair.

"Safe Word?", she doesn't look into your eyes when asking, still staring at your now messy lips.

"None.", you say breathlessly. Why do you still even use them? She always does everything so, so right.

"I Still Require–"

" _None_ is a safeword for today. Please, let's continue." You receive a peck to your cheek before she, indeed, continues.

She doesn't bother with fully undressing you first, considering how little you're wearing right now. Only a pair of boxers and a mismatching bra, why would you walk around your own home during this weather fully clothed? Kanaya tries to pull up your bra with a fast motion, but the clasp breaks because of your chest's size. Sure, she made it for you so she has prerogative to destroy it as well. You don't grieve over your old Christmas gift. What matters is that your darlings are free for her to play with, and _oh, so good._ She doesn't use her mouth, but all these pinches at your nipples, how she squeezes your pink areolas zone, it all works just as well. "You Want Me To Take You Dont You". She kisses your jaw. "To Ruin Your Cunt With My Bulge". Her fang leaves a scratch, the pain is so beautiful. "And Be Sure You Will Beg Me To Stop Because I Will Fuck You All Day Long. Your Stomach Will Rise From My Cum Rosie". Oh gog. She's talking dirty and you can't believe how crazy this type of Kanaya drives you. _Don't you stop, Maryam._

Her hand travels down from your breast, gliding along your stomach and slipping into your panties. You sigh with your mouth half-open when she presses her row of fingers against your clit. Her hand is dry, but this doesn't feel unpleasant: there's no rubbing you or anything, she just presses in with force, stronger and then weaker, massaging it with no friction, her touch either feels like a gentle simple contact or like a potential threat to crush your pubic bone. You open mouth wider to cry out from the sensation. Her other hand leaves your breast as well to cover your mouth. "You Are Going To Shout Only After I Enter You". You obediently nod to her, your lilac eyes probably look so loyal right now. You love her.

She doesn't remove her black jeans completely, lowering them only to her knees. Her bulge has already ruined bikini with her color, leaving several strings of precum as her underwear slides lower, and you love this sight. You anticipate how her alien tentacle will soon spread you, fill you, do all the things you like about it. It's quite wide at its base now, meaning that she's fully out. You already want her, you want to rush your lovemaking and just smash your bodies together, but you aren't going to; it will ruin Kanaya's expectations. She collects some of her lubricant with a pair of fingers, and moves them to your face. You open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out, desiring to taste her. She suddenly slaps your breast, not really painful, but it was more than enough to make you lose track of all current thoughts. "No Eating". And you close your mouth while she paints your face with a translucent green slime, coating the area around your lips, as if testing your will. It's hard for you to keep composure, it really is! She draws hearts on your cheeks, and when her trail gets too dry, she just grabs some more from her trembling member and coats the tip of your nose. Of fuck, her smell. It's sharp, feral, there's nothing that reminds you better about her status of an alien than this. 

She smiles at her artwork and then looks at your shorties while removing them. You use this opportunity to lick your upper lip with quick motion, like a kid that steals a candy from the table. She didn't notice. _Yes_ , this is what means to be a goddess of Luck, you are so excited! You just disobeyed your mistress and are going to be rewarded like a good girl, _so rebellious._ "Dont Think I Have Not Noticed", she looks up with a mischievous grin. Well, crap. 

She pulls you closer towards her and spreads your legs wide apart. Her mostly clothed body is hovering over you, her tentabulge sticking out in a nearly straight line with its tip pointing towards the warmth right underneath it. "But It Just Turns Out That Your Punishment Was So Bad Already That Your Lick Changes Nothing". And then she slams into you.

You scream aloud at her entrance, and it's just what she wanted, you realize. Her tentacle slips with no problems, bathing in your juices while Kanaya thrusts it with no mercy, in and out. _Oh Fuck it's so impetuous!_ You were decently aroused already, yet not enough to contain her whole length. You feel how the tip tickles your cervix; it wouldn't be any pleasant if her bulge wasn't so flexible. It doesn't prod or bump with too much force, just touches you here, deeply inside, it's softness and moisture doing nothing worse than merely alerting you, _yes, you are that full of your wife._ The thought only makes you more aroused, Kanaya is doing such a great job at making your sex memorable. "Please, keep going, just like that!". Her face gets closer to yours, "Have You Forgotten Something?". You still shout, even though she's inches away, "Mistress! I've forgotten a Mistress, _please_ , sorry!". "Much Better".

And then she kisses you. Your eyes are wide from surprise, there's still an aftertaste of her intimate fluids yet she still kisses you? Oh fuck, you love how much she's willing to sacrifice for you. You answer her lips with yours, dancing around like this is your last time, forgetting about your submissive role, about your squirting dilemma, about everything. Your pussy is ready to come, being completely stretched to have room for now ideally matching bulge of your lover. She was always fitting inside you perfectly, it almost sounds like you were born for each other. Her thrusts become quicker and she breaks her kiss, panting as heavily as you, "Come For Me Love. Squeeze Me". You do exactly what she tells you to. Your walls contract around her in several powerful pulses, making your cavity so tight, so demanding for her release, and she follows you.

She moans together with you, her pitch slightly lower that yours, while her bulge hurries to fill her passion with genetic material, it's flow is simply unceasing. But also so impossibly gentle. You can distinctively perceive when her cum leaves the bulge and pours into your end, feeling burningly hot and sticky. Kanaya keeps moving herself back and forth, as if trying to push some of her genetic material inside your womb, but it all just leaks outside, covering your labia and then trickling down over your anus. You feel yourself incredible after this orgasm.

And then worried. Kanaya doesn't stop after you two just came, even though her bulge keeps retracting. She ignores your questioning look and shoves three fingers in your mouth, coating with your saliva to move them into her nook. Kanaya desperately fingers herself to keep the bulge out, _just a bit more, for Rose._ Holy shit, she wasn't lying about fucking you to the bitter end. You might actually be really screwed. You ask her what's on her mind and she ignores you, being too concentrated on maintaining her pace. At the moment when you realize that she actually does a good job at keeping herself erect, she grabs your shoulders to alter your position, her tentacle never leaving your pussy. _Alright, Kan, okay, as you wish._

She makes you lie on your back, now parallel in regards of your sofa, and continues thrusting with your feet placed up on her shoulders, while she stands on knees, also on sofa; you currently occupy all free space it has to offer. Her movements are chaotic, you see how her eyebrows are curved and eyes closed, poor jadeblood. Does she really need to fuck you non-stop– oh wow. She just came into you again. It's nothing like the first splash of green semen, only a teaspoon or two of her ejaculate, but it warms you up. You feel the senses coming back to you, turning your pussy supple once again, all right! Maybe you don't mind round two with such a tiny pause!

Your opening began producing lubricant again and honestly, you don't understand why. Your vagina is already overfilled with all kinds of liquids; your old juices from previous orgasm, her precum, _a lot_ of genetic material, all mixing together, moving in their own rhythm, making all kinds of squishing sounds while she thrusts–

Oh yes, it starts feeling _really_ good again. Kanaya fucks you just at the perfect pace, each time bumping her naturally hairless crotch into your erect clit, her hair on the head barely representing that classic styling, and you are messy, too. Your skin is covered in sweat, droplets falling to the cushions below, your breasts are shaking like it's the earthquake, your legs –you barely feel your legs!–, and the smell... That fucking smell of her, now close to being completely lost in your own pheromones, so you breathe heavily to catch her, that primal signal of your troll to keep up the mating. You don't think you can even groan from the pleasure in your state; your mouth became so dry that it's painful to talk.

She kisses your legs, leaving tiny love bites all over them. She barely reminds you of that perfectly-neat darling while she splatters her saliva all over the place when constantly switching her attention from your one leg to another. You love that sight of her, you need a wife so diverse like her, **you want her.** You want to fuck with her like this, in complete mess of passion, to have her filling your cunt with a tasty syrup. You need your whole life to be dedicated to her. You want her babies! You want to have a family with her! Your only need is a Kanaya, _your_ Kanaya! Your body _belongs_ to her.

You don't even notice how close your orgasm was this whole time until it was too late. Her bulge wildly trashes inside, overstimulating your G-spot while her sexy torso slaps your second sensitive area with so much force that your whole body literally _spasms_ from the climax. You can't control yourself, you can't even move by your own free will! Your mouth drools, and then you _see it happening._

A jet of clear liquid catches a glimpse of sunshine as it emerges from between your legs, 10 inches high in the air, landing on your sofa, on your stomach, some of it even reaches her leather jacket, how is your body able to produce so much? After the first portion of your squirt comes the second jet, slightly smaller than the first, and then a third one, and then you aren't able to keep your head up to look anymore, you only feel how it keeps pouring from you, were you always capable of this all!? You can only now feel it's warmth, how your own ejaculate covers your body, soaking in your couch, filling the whole room with _you._

Kanaya suddenly moves quicker, at the speed only a vampire would be capable of, and you don't care at all. You are there and nowhere, the whole world is a lie, this sensation makes you see stars even with eyes squeezed shut, and then -OH FUCK!

She comes in you. No, not like that, **SHE COMES IN YOU!**. Her cum is hitting your cervix with the pressure you were never prepared for, it's suddenly so much! It pours in with a much faster pace than usual, quickly overfilling you, spilling inside of you, outside of you, your babe is setting a world record amongst trolls in the category of hemocum volume! It's so much sensation that it's painful for your body, but you'd rather die than let this stop. It's something completely new, beyond both yours and Kanaya's limits; you know you're going to do this again! And Kanaya, she _shouts_ , loud, you've never heard her voice to be so loud during sex.

You lose consciousness from all this.

  


* * *

  


When you wake up, you have problems with gulping down without strong discomfort. Speaking of discomfort, your body aches from what just happened, your legs are sore, and your pussy– no, you don't want to think about your genitalia. You have a feeling that if you even slightly touch it, your whole body will fall apart into pieces without a chance of resurrecting back. And there's Kanaya cuddling next to you, still dressed in her garments. They are probably as wet as the whole couch at this point.

"I'm exhausted."

She perks up, as if she was sleeping together with you this whole time. "Me Too"

You lay like that for some time, just feeling the closeness of being together, listening to how she breathes, enjoying her hand resting on your waist. It's such a simple and heartwarming pleasure. Pleasure of having someone you love so close to you, supporting you, loving you back. You have no idea what your life without Kanaya would be.

"Your clothes will need a lot of washing before they become clean again.", you comment while staring at her jeans, hopelessly ruined by excesses of her jade genetic slime.

"I Think They Are Going To Join Our Sofa In Urban Incinerator"

"Everything is that bad?"

"Everything Is That Perfect". You smile at that. There are still puddles of your ejaculate that haven't dried yet, shifting all around the fabric as you turn around to face Kanaya. She's soaked in you too, looking so tired from your sex session that marked the end of your futile experiments. She's happy, and so are you.

"I think I'm going to die of dehydration soon. Do you have some water captchalogued?"

She gets up and plants a wet kiss to your nose. "Ill Fetch You A Glass Right Away"

Your relationships now are so full of bliss.

**Author's Note:**

> Was it a good idea to write my first smutfic in foreign language while possessing zero writing skills? Probably not. Have I still done it? Heck yeah.  
> We are talking about the best couple of the fictional world; those gals make everything better, right?..


End file.
